To break Silence
by KurobaSeiko
Summary: "How do you build a relationship when your whole life is one revolving lie?" "You can't." "So why do I keep wishing that someday I might be able to have one?"
1. Prolog- Hallelujah

Hallelujah – Imogen Heap

* * *

They were slipping apart. Out growing feelings that should have stayed for a life time. He could hear it those words even before they were said. The eyes said all. Not pained, or sad, or even kind. Just bored, dead. He knew.

A million excuses came out. Everyone a lie. Those were the hardest to get past. The tiny little barbs that drove straight into his heart till he was just numb and tired. So tired. He watched her stand at the front door with bags. She was looking at him. Watching him. He guessed she maybe wanted him to stop her. To tell her that things will work out.

More lies. He had enough of them.

He was tired.

"Goodbye Shinichi."

The door shut with a sort of finality that he knew there was no going back from. Walking to the kitchen he picked up their half empty mugs from this morning. Dumping the contents he washed and dried them and placed them where they belonged. For a moment he could only stare at them. Side by side. Perfect in harmony.

He closed the cabinet door.

He steps echoed hollowly through the manor. Reminding him of his now solitude. He looked into the living room.

"_Shinichi stop, that tickles."_

"_Does it now?" He replied and pressed his fingers more firmly into her ribs exciting another laugh from her._

The image morphed from cuddles and playful teasing to something darker.

"_I can't keep doing this! Hiding in plain sight! How much longer?!"_

"_I don't know, I don't know." Shinichi murmured as he tried to console her._

_Her hands slapped his away and her glare finished their conversation._

He remember that night she had stayed at Sonoko's and he at the bottom of a bottle. Moving further into the house he paused at the music room. It had been shut for months. Untouched. Undisturbed by their negativity. Walking away from the happier moments in their relationship he continued till he reached the library.

"_I love you, Shinichi. I always will."_

She had said.

"_What are you hiding?"_

She had asked.

"_You've changed, Shinichi."_

She mumble, disappointed.

"_Did you think I was stupid?! I wouldn't find out! You …Conan. Shinichi!"_

She screamed. It was his fault for being stupid and not throwing the old gadgets away. That had been it. The crippling blow to their relationship. It was never salvageable after that. No matter how hard he tried. She wanted nothing to do with him. With the lies.

Standing in the middle of the room he looked around. The arguments outweighed the good memories now.

He was tired. Pinching the bridge of his nose he fought against the pounding headache.

"_You need to take better care of yourself." She chirped at his bedside. "Hey," her hand on his bore was gentle and full of love. He opened his eyes fighting the fever to look up warily at her. "I love you."_

Shinichi's eyes swam and he staggered into the desk. He loved her so much. His light. His life. He had destroyed that with un-trust. Covering his mouth he hid the sobs.

"Ran …"

* * *

Sweet kami I want to cry ...QAQ


	2. Chapter One

Chapter One

Months passed since Ran left. Shinichi struggled to find right in the world most of the time he did. When it was 8 pm and with a good bottle of whiskey. Unfortunately (or fortunate) tonight was not one of those nights. There was a double homicide that Meguire had called for his assistants. Upon arriving at said scene it wasn't what he had hoped. The challenge was so mediocre the former Shonen Tantei could have solved it. Giving the scene a glance he looked at Takagi-keiji with a 'really' look. The detective gave him a sheepish smile and busied himself with the couples already checked nightstand. Sighing Shinichi pulled on the white gloves and got to work.

Fifteen minutes later an IPB was issue to look for a suspicious character lurking in the neighborhood. Half hour to that the scared burglar/murder was being hauled off into Beika precinct. Shinichi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. The man desperate pleas were giving him a headache. As Takagi came to his side Shinichi was already reaching into his pockets to find the painkillers stashed there.

"Thank you for your hard work Kudo."

"You didn't really need me for that or at least I hope not." His voice was quipped and edgy cause Takagi to flinch.

The man laugh nervously and watched Kudo search desperately into his pockets. "Ah … Kudo, we … I mean I was wondering … What are you looking for?"

"Headache medicine." He answered and walked back to car he left his jacket in.

Takagi followed silently and watched the younger man devil into more pockets. Gum, couple bills and coin of various yen, a fountain pen, scraps of paper with various doodles and messages. When his hands came free with the pill bottle a light 'tink' sound caught both of their attention. A ring rolled away from them and stopped before Sato's feet.

"What's this?"

Shinichi sighed and went back to relieving his headache. "My old engagement ring."

Takagi and Sato looked up at him in shock. Kudo was/had been engaged? To whom. Sato held the ring up and examined the inside. It was tarnish around the edges and barely worn. She looked at Kudo who didn't seem upset about just down right bored with everything. The passed from her to Takagi.

"Who?"

Shinichi looked over at the man and smiled. "A lovely girl with the IQ of a toaster and the manners of a crocodile. My mother's friend I think convinced my mother to arrange it. It lasted for about 6 months till she realized I wasn't as 'Prince Charming' like as my photo shows and the dead bodies that like to creep into my life got to her a bit."

God it was a lovely lie and look how it rolled off the tongue. Takagi and Sato were gapping at him like fish. He chuckled and slipped on his coat. "That was a joke."

"Kudo?"

The familiar voice of Mouri Kogoro had him stopping in the moment. Turning slightly to acknowledge him he bowed slightly. "Mouri."

The older drunk now sober for five years running glanced warily between the two officers and the consultant. The man had changed considerably since being taken in by his wife again and the untimely 'death' of his charge, Conan. He and Shinichi had actually started getting along quite well when Shinichi had been seeing Ran. So well in fact the old man had grown on Shinichi to the point of them becoming drinking buddies. Well Shinichi would drink now and hold conversations with him. Mouri also knew the truth about Shinichi's checkered past. To say he was totally pissed was actually incorrect. It still puts shivers in Shinichi's spine when he thought back to how calm and accepting the man was.

"You look like shit."

Shinichi scoffed. It was a normal greeting from him and it warmed him to his toes. "So do you."

They exchanged a good natured 'I hate but love you' look before the old detective turned his attention to the curious officers. "That ring … Ran's old one?"

Now Shinichi want to crawl into a hole. He hated talking about her. The numbness of her walking out never went away. He had to pretend every emotion.

"Kudo" Sato started.

Shinichi's face went neutral and he turned away. "Good night officers, Mouri-san."

Kami, did he hate the pity he got. Yes, Ran left him to do … kami knows what. There was nothing he could do about. More correctly wanted to do about it. Sighing he pinched his bridge again. Turning left he made his way into a park. Finding a bench clear of couples was a tad bit difficult but he found one near the fountain. The sitting and doing nothing while pretending you were nothing more than air helped. A little, sort of.

He didn't want the ring. He didn't need the ring.

Shinichi repeated those words over and over in his head while watching the water. When he felt surer about it he slowly raised his head and looked around. Couples walked close to each other and reminded him of what he once had. Turning his attention forward he sighed at the fact he couldn't even feel envious of them. Yawning he turned on his side and stretched out on the bench. He didn't want to go home just yet. To go back to that old, empty house right now would just … closing his eyes Shinichi knew that it would bring up too many memories. Sleep claimed him softly and helped him drift into nothing.

He was pretty sure someone was touching him. Little tiny pokes all over his shoulder, head, and hip. Groaning he shifted and listened to wings flutter. Opening his eyes he stared up at the owlish set of amethyst eyes staring back. The scream filtered out before he could stop it and the eyes had a voice with them. Shinichi shot straight into sitting up scaring the birds into the air.

"What the hell?!" He shouted and looked down at the man who stumbled onto his ass trying to get away from him.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you." He hurried and stood. "It was my birds. They were all over you. I was trying to get them off but …"

Shinichi glared at the man hurried speech and struggled to get his heart out of his throat. The guy looked no older than he did and he was right about his birds. Feathers were everywhere from their sudden take-off. Sighing, again, Shinichi ran his hand threw his bangs. Laughter hummed around them for a moment and Shinichi looked up to glare at the guy again but felt his breath hitch when he saw the guy laughing and the birds fluttering and cooing at him. He shifted his feet to the ground and flinched when a few flew towards him.

"Do they live here?"

"Hm?" The man stared at him so hard Shinichi nearly squirmed.

"The birds?"

Laughter rang out again. Playful and mysterious but so open and carefree. Shinichi couldn't help smiling with him in confusion.

"No, No. They are all mine. They're doves and a few pale parakeets. Here, hold out your hand."

Shinichi stood quickly and reflexively when the guy reached into his pockets and practically jump at him. He felt his hand being taken into a firm calloused grip and seeds poured into his palm. The reaction was immediate. All of the birds gathered and nibbled at the food and sometimes his fingers. Shinichi jolted and nearly scrambled back away from the excitement but the grip on his hand kept him in place.

Gentle and firm. _There's nothing to fear._

Shinichi felt breath hitch before he looked away from their hands and to the birds. Laughter. His laughter. It sounded so foreign to him but … kami did it feel good. Feathered bodies and wings kept brushing against his face, chest, and hands.

"You had me a bit worried there."

The laughter stopped suddenly and Shinichi felt his cheeks burn. He hadn't blushed since … he couldn't remember when. The man had taken a seat on the bench and was watching him play with his birds. Kami, he so embarrassed … Shinichi swallowed thickly. Turning away from him Shinichi watched the fountain. The doves had settled down and most of them flew off to perch on the fountain or behind him on the bench. Few of them sat on him with two parakeets in his hands. He hadn't felt anything in a long time.

The clap behind him made him jump. Turning around he stared at the yellow rose in front of him. _Friendship. _Looking from the rose to the man behind it back to the rose.

"Kuroba Kaito, Magician Extraordinaire." He said the a flourishing bow.

Shinichi blinked before laughing hard. He couldn't stop. Even when Kuroba asked him what was wrong. He just clutched his sides tighter. Crouching to the ground he sensed Kuroba do the same next to him. The hand on his back was soothing. Sighing happily now he looked up at Kuroba and accepted the rose.

"Thank you and I'm sorry I didn't mean to laugh. I've haven't felt anything in eight months."

Kuroba crouched next to him and rested his now empty hands on his knees. "Why is that?"

Shinichi looked at the rose and tapped the petals gently to his lips. "The woman I loved very much left. She had enough. Of the lies I gave her, the constant looking over the shoulder … the danger of just being near me. I can understand. I really do but …"

The smiled faded from his face and Shinichi stared off into memories.

"It doesn't make it hurt any less." Kuroba said softly.

Shinichi swung his head so fast he pinched the muscle in his neck. Hissing against the burn at the base of his skull he nodded in agreement.

They sat there. Crouched to the ground like children interested in a bug. Off in the distance a familiar clock tower rang out 11 chimes. Neither of them noticed the reminiscent smile on each other's faces. Both were thinking back to happier times. One where it seemed as though nothing could hold them back. Kuroba was the first to stand. Whistling shrilling with his fingers in his lips the doves flew towards him. Shinichi slowly stood and suffered through a strange sense of déjà vu.

"Good night, I hope it gets better for you."

Shinichi nodded in head in gratitude and watched the magician walk towards the parks exit whistling a tune. Stuffing a hand into his pocket it occurred to Shinichi that he never introduced himself and said the one thing that had been haunting him for months to a total stranger. Looking to the rose in hand he slipped it into the lapel of his coat and felt a chill.

He was cold and tired. Kuroba had taken all the warmth with him.

It wasn't until 1 in the morning till Shinichi returned home. He slipped out of his shoes and walked into the kitchen. Trimming the end of the rose he slipped into a small bottomed, long necked vase in cobalt blue his mother had given to Ran as a present. Placing the flower on the table he took a seat and watched it. He never gave her flowers. Shinichi wondered if maybe he had she wouldn't have left.

Maybe if he did a little more for her. Sure he treated her like she never deserved nothing less than anything of absolute perfection. It was the little stuff he had forgotten, like picking up flowers after a case, a back rub, trying to burn the house down with a home cooked meal so she didn't have to cook all the time, even the most basic one, telling her how much she meant to him. Lying his head down on the table he tried to remember how many times he told her 'I love you'. Closing his eyes he barely made it to ten before he was asleep.


	3. Chapter Two

Yay, next chapter!

For this chapter I recomend listening to Erik Satie- Trois Gymnopdies and Claude Debussy- Clair de Lune

enjoy

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Chapter Two

The next morning came way too earlier for Shinichi. Sunlight was dancing with the dust that his breathing kicked into the air. Shifting in his seat he wondered if he could get away with falling back asleep where he sat. _I guess not._ He thought as the doorbell chimed. Threading his hands threw his already mussed hair he flinched at the pure white feather found there. Confused he stood and shook out his coat. More feathers of different size floated to the ground.

"What the hell?" he mumbled and looked around him.

It was the slashes of dark blue that caught his eye. The cobalt vase with the single yellow rose sat where it was placed the night before just instead of in the dim light of the moon it was now in the bright playful light of the sun. _That's right. That man gave me that last night. _The urgent doorbell rang again and Shinichi huffed. Last night was … for a lack of a better word, different. He never had someone give him a flower before, much less a man he had just met and a rose at that, but the man did say he was a magician; maybe it was just out of habit for him? Shinichi shook his head and stripped out of his coat.

"Alright, alright, I'm coming!" He shouted and unlatched the locks. "What do you want?"

Kudou Yukiko pouted and glared at her only son. "You changed the locks."

Shinichi sighed and nearly regretted opening the door. His mother was the last person, well nearly last, he wanted to see or be around. Scratching the back of his head he moved out of the way so she could come in. "I had to."

She began to unbuckle one of the Mary Jane pumps in pale rose and looked around the foyer. It needed to be dusted and swept. There was a lack of shoes in the side cabinet reminding her of the conversation she last held with Eri. "Why?"

"There was an amateur B&E attempt two months ago." As Shinichi recalled it had been a terrifying experience. The dumb ass teen agers kicked the door in and nearly went rampaging through the rooms. Unfortunately for them he had been at home reading old case files and bored out of his mind. After removing his heart from his throat and realizing it wasn't the Organization he made fast work in scaring the ever loving daylights out of them with the old Halloween decorations his parents left. Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, an old long white dress, long dark haired wig, and some fishing wire did wonders on a person's psyche; that and the washable red paint on the door with a bloody grim warning that everything was cursed.

"Why are you smiling like that? It's scary."

He pulled out of the memory and shrugged a shoulder. "It's nothing. So what have I done to owe the visit?"

Yukiko blinked. "I can't come home and see …" She balked at his deadpan stare. "Alright, alright, Eri told me about Ran."

Shinichi snorted lightly and buried his hands deep into his pockets. "And?"

"And? I was worried. You two were so close." She said softly and very conscious of her son prickly attitude towards the subject. Before he could say he was fine she held up a hand and pulled off her shoes and pale cream coat. "If you tell me you are fine I'm going to strangle you with my hose."

"That would require you to remove them in an ample amount of time before I dart you and/or run." He poked.

"I took off my shoes don't tempt me into running after you." She sniped. At his careful grin she sighed and wrapped her arms around him. She knew he hated the motherly affection but he looked so damn miserable. Rumple clothes that were probably from last night, messy slightly too long hair, a day's worth of growth on his face, a tired body and an even more so in the eyes and soul. As a mother her heart wept, as a friend it steeled, and as a woman it softened. "Come on, I want some coffee and you look like you need some food and a shower."

When he approached the stairs she took his hand and tugged him into the kitchen. "Food and coffee first, I know you."

Shinichi smiled softly and huffed. Slumping back in the chair he slept in he relaxed. His mother did know him; too well some times. Even as she was puttering about the kitchen the first thing he could smell was the coffee. Slumping even further into the chair he closed his eyes and leaned his head over the back of the chair. His long legs stretched out under the table and his spine lengthened like a cats. Yukiko could hear the pops from the kitchen and winced. A human's bones were not meant to sound like that under any amount of stress. Moving to the fridge she opening the door and blinked at the food there. She was honestly more shocked at the fact her cooking retarded son had any food much less the ones that required more than a microwave and some knowledge of time. Taking out the fresh eggs, sausages, tomatoes, and spinach she decided that an American omelet was just what they needed.

She found the baked bread in a loaf drawer on the counter and the half empty homemade jam she had sent months ago from Germany. She smiled at that. Shinichi may say that he didn't want or need the things she and Yusaku sent him but he always used the stuff anyway or most of the stuff. Hearing the bubbling from the coffee pot stop she stepped away from the fixing and went to find mugs. Opening the cabinet she grabbed two down and noticed a pair of same colored mugs hiding in the back. _Oh, Shin-chan._

Yukiko covered her mouth to hide the whimper. It wasn't hard for her to figure out that Shinichi couldn't throw out the things that he and Ran used together. Closing the cabinet she figured she was going to have to start pushing him (with a pole. Lord knows she didn't want to get bit) towards recovering. The thing was how. After all he loved Ran since middle school, maybe even before that. She sighed and watched the dark bitter liquid rise in one of the thick white mugs. A relationship was out of the question, he'd go out with someone as soon as the moon turned green. She sighed again and stirred in sugar for her own fix. She thought of Hattori. The fellow detective was always talking to her son, if anyone had an idea it was hopefully him.

Settled on the matter for now she picked up both of the mugs and carried them to the dining room. Freezing she didn't know whether to laugh or sigh. Shinichi was completely out cold; light snores included. Placing the coffee down in front of him she faintly heard him mumble 'Ran'. That was the last straw. Fleeing in to kitchen she stifled the tears.

"You could've waked me." Shinichi grumbled past the rim of the fresh coffee. His mother stubbornly refused to answer. Placing the mug down he looked at her carefully. Her eyes were rimmed red and the makeup was a little splotchy. When she sniffed again before taking another bite he tried again. "Ka-san," he waited till she looked up at him. What he was going to say wasn't easy for his pride. Swallowing he fought against the rising blush.

"Where did the rose come from?"

"Huh?"  
"The yellow rose. Where did it come from?" She repeated.

It took a minute for it to register for him. Moving his gaze from her to the flower he relaxed. "Someone gave it to me."

"Hmmm? Who?"

Shinichi thought back to last night in the park. A playful smile and warm personality. His own smile, his own laughter. "A magician."

Yukiko blinked then narrowed her eyes. "A magician? Since when have you been into magic?"

Shinichi mentally tripped. "I'm not! I said I met one and he gave me the rose!"

"He?!"

He groaned and finished the last bite of omelet before reaching for another piece of toast. "Yes, it was a man."

"I see." She smiled and laced her fingers together before hiding that smile behind them. "Does this magician have a name?"

Shinichi chewed thoughtfully for a moment. "Kuroba … Kuroba Kai"

The sudden clatter from his mother's side of the table made him stop midsentence. Yukiko was on her feet and clasping her son's shoulders tightly before the detective barely had time to move. "Kuroba!? You don't actually mean Kuroba? No, it has to be a different Kuroba. The world can't be that small, could it? But if it is …"

Shinichi stared at his mother ramble on worriedly. "Ka-san, do you know him, or them?"

Yukiko focused back on Shinichi. Besides him looking at her as if she had lost her mind he didn't seem to off. She cleared her throat and took her seat again. "Yes, if it is that Kuroba, I hope it isn't, but if"

"Ka-san." Shinichi barked bring her attention back to his question.

"There was a magician I studied under when I was still an actress. His name was Kuroba Toichi. He taught myself and another actress how to properly disguise ourselves."

"Vineyard."

"Yes. After we completed our studies we, all three of us, went our separate ways. About, oh I don't know, five years after you were born I met up with Toichi-sensei again. He had gotten married and had a son. If I remember correctly his son's name was Kaito, but you couldn't have possibly met Kaito. Toichi and his family moved out of the country." She laughed weakly.

Shinichi sighed. "Before you interrupted me I was going to tell you that the magician's full name was Kuroba Kaito."

"What did he look like?"

"Ah, he was slightly taller than I with wild copper colored hair and dark purplish blue eyes."

"Toichi-sensei was taller than Yusaku." Yukiko mumbled.

"What does Otou have to do with this?" Shinichi asked.

Yukiko looked up at her son and saw the confusion, suspicion, and nerves. "Shin-chan"  
"Don't call me Shin-chan"

"Shin-chan, Yusaku had a theory that Toichi might have been Kaitou KID."

For a long pause Shinichi waited for the punch line and Yukiko for the other shoe to drop.

"That's it?" Shinichi muttered threw a pout.

"What do you mean that's it?!"

"Jeez, you freaked out on a theory that doesn't even have to do with a person I just met last night! Ka-san I thought you were going to tell you read his name on a wanted list." Shinichi exhaled and stood to clear the table.

"But I did! Kaitou KID! It's not him being KID that concerns me."

Shinichi turned from the kitchen's entryway to look back at his mother.

"It's what will happen to you if he gets involved in your life."

"HUH?!"

"You'll start acting the way Yusaku did. Obsessed, half in love and then you'll start picking up things that a thief would do. Yusaku would hole himself up in his office and wouldn't come out for days and that was before I found the secret little letters."

The Hensei Holmes felt his head spin. "The secret what?"

"Letters and not some cryptic, rival to rival, 'here's the next heist notice see ya soon if you can decipher it' kind of letter. No it was personal stuff, sports, books, clothes, recent movies. If I had even found a ticket stub from a movie they talked about I" she huffed and made some intelligible noise from her nose. "God, they even talked about the weather! The weather Shinichi and flowers. I thought that was a little weird."

Shinichi rolled his eyes and continued into the kitchen. Before he could think he had gotten away he heard his mother continue from the counter.

"Not so much about the fact they were talking about flowers but the fact your father knew so much about them. Then one day the letters stop coming and KID's activities halted completely. Yusaku … Yusaku he seemed to know what had happened. He was never the same."

Shinichi looked back at his mother. "You think Otou was in love with KID?"

"He was. KID after all was the one person who could match wits with Yusaku in every step. That kind of connection is rare and precious."

Shinichi turned to the sink to fill it and organize his thoughts. His father had been in love with KID. He suppressed a shudder something about that seemed off. Maybe it was perhaps he was thinking of KID as he knew him. Water rushed out of the facet and he turned it just shy of scalding. _If Kuroba Toichi was KID and my father knew that was it respect for a rival or lack of evidence that kept him from turning him in. Or was it out of … love?_ Shinichi shuddered that time. Knocking the water off with his wrist he slipped out of his blazer and began to roll his sleeves.

"Ne, Shinichi, you have gone quiet."

_Can you blame me after that download? _"I have a million theories running through my head and all are dealing with past events and very little information and evidence. SO yeah I am going to be a little quiet but Ka-san one piece does stand out. Kuroba Kaito. You said that the family left Japan, they could have very easily returned. By all means he could be Kuroba Toichi's son."

"And KID."

"No, not KID." Shinichi said firmly and turned to wash the plates.

"Why not?" Yukiko asked walking over to her son.

"The personalities for one, another is" He pause he didn't know how to word it without it sounding don't right strange. "I can sort of sense KID."

Yukiko looked at her son flabbergasted. "You're telling me you're a psychic now?"

"NO!" He shouted and splashed his stomach with soapy water. "Look I know what it sounds like. It just that at heists I just know, it takes a while but I know who he is. Sometimes before even he realizes I have."

"Care to elaborate on Kaito."

Shinichi side glanced to his mother before extending a clean plate to her. When she took it he continued. "This was just my impression from last night. Kuroba-san is way to hyper active to be a thief and he was slightly clumsy. His personality had a cheeriness that reminded me of a child at play. Curious, eager to please, restless, yet oddly aware of moods, at least he was of mine last night, confident, perhaps not confident more like comfortable with who he is." He paused and thought back to the rose and the birds. "Kind and very gentle. Sweet."

"Maybe you're sweet on him." Yukiko whispered softly to herself when she watched her son smile bitter sweetly.

"Hm?"

"Nothing, but your right that doesn't sound anything like KID or at least how I know him to be." She said and accepted the other plate. Looking up at Shinichi who was watching the water drain her lips curved up into a playful smile. "Are you seeing him again?"

Shinichi slowly turned his head to her and glare. "Huh?"

She chuckled. "Are you going to see him again?"

"I think it was a onetime thing. Beside I didn't even introduce myself when we met. He probably felt bad for the man sleeping in the park." He explained and dried off his arms roughly.

"Do I want to know why you were sleeping in the park?" She asked with every ounce of mother concern.

"I didn't want to go home just then."

Yukiko's hands twitched and remembered to pair of mugs in the cabinet. Placing the plate away she turned to her son and placed her hand to his cheek. Patting it lightly twice she turned and walked out leaving him confused.


	4. Chapter Three

Yay, next chapter! Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter Three

Life in all its unpredictability had a way of slapping Shinichi in the face; rather harshly sometimes. As the detective showered he thought to the morning's conversation. His mother had left the topic be and that was highly out of character for her. He expected at least a little fight, maybe some pushing. _**To show she cared?**_ He thought. No. He wanted the fight; the outlet it would provide. Placing his forehead to the cool tile Shinichi scolded himself. Arguing with his parent wasn't going to make him feel better later and it sure as hell wouldn't bring Ran back to him. It would just manage to get his father and Eri on his case. He shivered at the thought of them hounding him. Leaning back he turned the water to hot and let the spray pound his stiff back. Sleeping in the kitchen chair had left some pretty mean kinks in the middle. Moaning he let himself a brief moment of relaxation.

"_I'm surprised you don't melt the skin off your back with how hot you get the water." Ran huffed and turned the temperature down for herself._

_He laughed and sunk down into the bath. "I live in the 21__st__ century Ran; I'm going to have my water hot, my house cool, and my meals quick and available."_

_She gave him a look. Oh yes, he was a creature of comfort and wouldn't survive a day without convenience but with his looks he could have stepped right out of a Medieval painting. He with his long legs, strong torso, lithe arms that could carry her as easily as a child, oh yes, he looked like a dark prince. Even with that poet's mouth which was curved into an imp's smirk. She stepped out of the running water and went to him with her center ready; achingly ready._

Shinichi opened his eyes slowly and inhaled just as slow. Snatching the shampoo off the small ledge he scrubbed his hair and ignored the heat pooling below. He was human, he had to remember that. It was normal to react to **those** kinds of memories. React to how eager, how overcome, how beautiful she was.

How loved he felt.

Hissing he quickly scrubbed his body and shut the water off. The last thing he needed to do was to indulge in a memory. Wrapping a towel gingerly around his waist and left the bathroom and the temptation.

Clean and changed into a fresh white button down shirt and dark grey slacks Shinichi found his mother curled on the couch watching the news and sipping tea. She was aging beautifully; unavoidable lines were starting to peek around her eyes but added a mature charm to her. There wouldn't be a single strand of grey hair in her walnut colored hair and each curl was tamed to perfection. For a minute Shinichi had to remember that his mother was getting older and she wouldn't be around to hound him. Tightness crawled its way around his throat and choked the breath from him. It wouldn't be just his mother, his father was aging too. He knew deep in his bones that if one of his parents passed before the other either one would soon follow after.

Yukiko watched the shadows across her sons face. Morbid thoughts were floating around in his head, distracting him and weighing him down. All the signs for depression were there. She had recognized them the minute she heard his voice over the phone months ago. Her independent, confident, strong son was becoming a hollow shell of his self, but she also knew that it was those exact traits that would make it difficult for anyone to help him or to get him to help himself. Her plan from this morning popped back to the forefront of her mind.

"Have you talked to Hattori-kun lately?"

As Shinichi's mind filtered back into focus he moved reflexively and subconsciously inward to protect himself. "No."

Yukiko hummed and took another sip of Earl Grey tea. With her bare feet tucked underneath her she kept the slight annoyed twitching to her toes. "That's too bad. I was hoping to talk to him again."

Shinichi crossed the rug to take the free arm chair across from his mother. "Why?"

"Oh, just to chat. I didn't get to talk to him very much with the Takedown going on at the time."

The Takedown was what everyone affectionately called the operation to remove the Organization. It had gone nearly successful with the arrest of a major part of the Organization. The leader unfortunately slipped away, as did Gin, Vermouth, and Vodka, but the operation bought to light more than what Shinichi had thought. The multiple groups within the B.O. all going to different tasks; corporate espionage, homicide, pharmaceuticals, theft, and criminal activity of all levels showed how blind he, they had been to the sheer size of their task. What they did little over a year ago was merely a nick to the structure.

_**We are still missing so much. **_Shinichi laced his fingers thinking about the past.

"Shinichi?"

"Hm? Sorry, what did you say?"

His mother sighed and unfurled her legs. "I asked when the last time you spoke to him was."

Weeks … months, no it was about a year. Shinichi rubbed a narrow hand at the growth on his jaw and tried to remember. "I don't know. A year maybe."

"Shin-chan" Yukiko whined. "We are calling him; actually you are going to call him. A year? He's your friend."

Shinichi stood when his mother did and stepped in front of her. "Wait, not right now."

"Oh, yes right now. He must be worried about you."

_**Yeah right.**_ "Then he would've called." Shinichi snapped and grabbed his mother's shoulder.

Yukiko paused in her son's grip. It wasn't the anger that made her worry, it was the pain. Gently she reached to his cheek.

"He hasn't called. Not once." He said and remembered how scared he had been when he first realized that. How frantic he had been till he found the Osaka papers and Hattori's reputation increasing.

"Then all the more reason to call him now." Yukiko said and tweaked Shinichi's nose. When he went to protest she cut him off. "You can't keep waiting for things to change without putting forth the effort to change them yourself."

Shinichi blinked and found his head nodding stiffly. Yukiko smiled and wrapped her arms around him for the second time that morning. "If something isn't the way you like it Shinichi, you have all the strength and power to change it yourself. Just stick with it even when it seems hopeless."

Unsteady and rocked Shinichi looked down at the crest of his mother's hair. Clearing his throat he stepped back and turned away from her. "I'll go call Hattori."

He was staring at his cell phone and felt stupid for being nervous. Hattori's number marked in black against the stark white of the device's screen. It had been a long time. _**What if I have lost him as well? **_Those thoughts kept swimming threw his mind, numbing his fingers around the phone. What if he had lost him? He was lost to his imagination again as Yukiko walked over to him and pressed the talk icon on his phone.

They both waited for what seemed like an eternity.

"_The number you have reached is unavailable at this time please call back and try again later."_

Shinichi blinked and slowly lowered the phone to stare at it.

"Try his home. You have that number, right?" Yukiko hurried.

He nodded his head and scrolled threw the numbers, pressed the icon again and waited.

"_Moshi, moshi? This is Hattori Shizuka speaking."_

"Ah, hello, Hattori-san, this is Kudo Shinichi, I was wondering if your son was available."

"_Kudo? Ah, Kudo-kun! It seems to have been ages since Hei-chan and you spoke. He is unfortunately out at the moment. I can tell him you called though. Have you tried his cell?"_

"I have and it's saying the number is unavailable."

He heard her hum and shifted to lean against the wall. _"That is strange. How about I have him call you after I get a hold of him? Just wait by your phone, okay?"_

"That's alright just let him know I called when he gets back."

"_I'm not sure when that'll be." _She laughed. _"You see he moved out of the house about four months ago."_

"He moved?!" Shinichi exclaimed and looked up at his mother. Yukiko blinked and moved closer to hear the phone.

"_Yes? He never told you?" _Shizuka shook her head lightly. _"That boy. I'll get a hold of him right away and have him get in touch."_

"Thank you, Hattori-san." Shinichi said softly and hung up the phone after a quick good bye. Yukiko watched the emotions filter across his face briefly before they vanished. "Well, that was a waste of time."

"Shinichi …" She started and stopped. She didn't know what to say to help. It had hurt him to find out Hattori had moved and the unnerving coincidence that the cell number didn't work just watered small seeds of doubt.

"Moshi, moshi?" Her son's slightly hopeful voice squeezed her heart to the point that she wished the pain would just end for him.

"I understand. No, I'll be right there Meguire-keibu. Hai, hai." Shinichi replied and went to the dining room for his jacket. "Ja ne."

"Shinichi? What happened?" Yukiko asked as she watched her son slip into the black half trench.

Stepping into the genkan Shinichi slipped on black, soft leathered Longwings. "A murder, business district, they haven't told me the name yet so that means they're trying to keep the press out for now."

"I'm coming with you." Yukiko perked and went to grab her coat.

"Ka-san you don't have to." _**I'd prefer if you didn't. **_Shinichi thought and stuffed his pockets with his phone and hands.

"I haven't seen you work as yourself in ages. I won't get in your way I promise." She smiled sweetly. "Please, Shin-chan. I haven't seen you for a while so I want to spend some time with you."

Shinichi watched his mother buckle her shoes narrowly. She normally started butting into his life when she wanted something done. This morning came back to him. Sighing he pinched the bridge of his nose and opened the door. "Come on."

Yukiko tried hard not to laugh with joy and buttoned up her coat against the spring chill and wind. "Did they tell you how he or she died?"

Shinichi hunched against the chill and wished he brought his wool blazer. "No, like I said they're keeping pretty hush-hush about it." And if he was truly honest with himself it made him wonder if **they** weren't involved.

Yukiko hooked her arm around her son's and provide some warmth to him. "You're thinking about them?"

He nodded and tried not to lean into the warmth too much. As they came close to the park Shinichi ignored the impulse to peek in and see if Kuroba was there. He didn't need to know if a strange magician was there entertaining. He didn't need to feel that small bubble of humanity just yet. He gritted his teeth and kept his eyes forward and turned down a side street that led to Beika station.

"You should invest in get a car, Shinichi." Yukiko muttered and pressed closer to Shinichi and away from the grubby hands of the overweight teenager behind her.

"And miss the entertainment the train system has to offer?" Shinichi chuckled dryly and shot daggers at the teenager.

"I'm serious. Would you drive one if I got you one?" She said and craned her neck back to look up at his face.

Shinichi grimaced and worried for his wellbeing. His mother's choice of vehicles had only two options: really fast and super-fast. "No."

"Even the Jag?" She grinned.

He felt his lips twitch into a smile before he could stop it. "You wouldn't be able to part with it."

She pouted and crossed her arms. "True. What would you choose then?"

There were a ton of cars he could choose; wanted to choose but the one he wanted was way out of reach, for the time being. "An Audi R8 Spyder."

Yukiko blinked then gawked at her son before settling in a look that screamed in cant. "Really, that is what you'd choose?"

"What?"

"Oh, nothing." She sang against his suspicious growl.

"_Touto Station, Touto Station."_

Shinichi gave his mother another glance and readied to leave the train by placing his mother in front. A small lurch later the doors slid open and the grubby handed teen from before nonchalantly slammed into his shoulder, bumped into Yukiko and making a hurried exit towards the stairs. Besides finding the act rude Shinichi thought it was forced and too deliberate. He slid his hands into his pockets and found everything there and one extra folded paper he was sure he never put there. Looking around Shinichi felt the base of his spine tighten and nerves hum in anticipation. _**For what though?**_ He thought. _**A pickpocketing gone wrong? **_

"Shinichi?"

Snapped back to reality he glanced up at his mother. "What is it?"

"You were just standing there. Are we not meeting the Keibu?" Yukiko murmured. It spooked her the way Shinichi had gone stiff.

He smiled and kept his hands in his pocket and around the slip of paper. Confidence seeped into his posture and hid his unsettlement. "Yeah, the Yamamoto Inc. building is where he said to meet them at."


	5. Chapter Four

Thank you to those who have reviewed on this story. It helps, greatly. Please, Enjoy.

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Chapter Four

True to their words, Meguire, Takagi, and Shiratori were waiting in front of Yamamoto Inc. building; along with someone Shinichi wasn't ready to see, Ran. Shinichi paused on the side-walk and cursed at his luck, squaring his jaw like a boxer entering a ring he refrained from stomping. She looked beautiful despite the nasty break up but he had hoped that she wouldn't as good as she did.

"Ah, Shinichi-kun, we're glad you could make it." Meguire hurried before anyone had the chance to mention the elephant.

"I said I would be here." He quipped and noticed Takagi flinch.

Meguire sighed and understood the edge in the young man's tone and briefly he was reminded back to Kogoro's and Eri's separated years. "That you did."

Shinichi pinched the bridge of his nose and felt the apology hang off his tongue. Yukiko patted her son's hand gently. "Good afternoon, Meguire-keibu. I hope you don't mind me tagging along with Shinichi. I haven't seen him work in so long. I promise to stay" _**Relatively**_. "out-of-the-way."

"Ah, Kudo-san, it's nice to see you again. How is your husband?" Meguire sang past the tension that was coming in waves off of Shinichi.

"Please, call me Yukiko. He's well, locked away in a hotel room with an ax murderer." At the inspectors shocked stare she hurried on with a laugh. "For his new book, I hope you didn't think with a really one."

Meguire's neck went ruddy and an oversized hand covered a weak embarrassed cough. "Yes, well, knowing him" he gestured towards Shinichi. "the apple can't fall far from the tree."

Yukiko tossed her hair back and laughed freely, while the 'apple' felt his ears heat. Shinichi cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. He deserved at least a little teasing with his snapping retort from earlier. The quiet chuckle had him snapping straight to attention and casting a mixed glanced towards it. Ran's hand moved quickly to cover the small smile. He didn't know how to react. Embarrassed? Angry? Sad?

Hopeful?

"Meguire-keibu, we should head back inside." Shiratori whispered.

"Right. Shinichi-kun, Yukiko-san this way."

Stamping down on emotions that would only hinder him Shinichi got ready to do what he did best.

"Minami Kaede, age twenty-three, she has worked as Ueno Daichi's assistant for six years before moving over to work under his boss, Yamamoto Hachirou. The cause of death is a single shot to the head. Close range." Takagi reported stiffly as Shinichi lowered himself closer to the body in the chair.

"Do we know the caliber, yet?" Shinichi mumbled and lifted the woman's cold hand. _**Wet?**_ Lifting her hand to his nose he sniffed lightly at the damp sleeve. He coughed against the sweet smell that made him light-headed and straightening he sniffed around her mouth couldn't smell it there. _**Chloroform but why only on her sleeve?**_

"No not yet." Takagi replied and moved closer to the consultant. "Do you think it might be …"

Shinichi looked to the older detective and watched him closely. "Execution style does fit Gin's MO but something's off."

Takagi blinked at him. "Off?"

"Yeah, smell her sleeve lightly." When Takagi did, he continued. "It's chloroform but only on her sleeve."

They moved away from the body and pondered possibilities. "Do we have any suspects?"

"Ah, four. We have them in another room." Takagi muttered.

He paused mentally at Takagi's tone. He seemed scared or at least disturbed. "Did something happen?"

Takagi jumped and waved his hand frantically. "No! Ha ha ha , nothing at all."

The Heisei Holmes raised an eyebrow and couldn't fight the small smile. "Takagi-keiji, it's all right. If you want you can stay here."

"Ah, n-no, I'll come with you."

"You sure?"

Takagi scratched the back of his neck and smiled. "Yeah."

Shinichi started out of the large office. "So who found her?"

"That would have been her boss, Yamamoto-san. He remembers telling her to stay late to finish looking over some merger documents so they could be ready for tomorrow. He came in this morning around six-forty, had a 'discussion' with the head of the sales department till seven-thirty then came up here to find his assistant not present at her desk but in his."

"And the time of death." Shinichi asked and skirted around two uniforms standing by a side table.

"Four to seven am."

_**Narrow window.**_ Shinichi thought and followed Takagi into the side waiting room. Seven occupants sat steaming in the room. Four of them on the burgundy couches and three officers standing off to the side walls. Starting from the left Takagi began introducing the seated sour.

Fifty-three year old, Yamamoto Hachirou, the inheriting CEO. He was tall, heavily built like an American Line-backer, full head of slate grey hair, hard hands and an even harder stared. Overall he was calm and collected but to a more trained eye Shinichi could see a pain he could relate too.

To the left of him was, twenty-seven year old, Tanaka Natsuko, Yamamoto's ex-lover, she was mutely beautiful. Slim figured with wispy white blonde hair tied back into a bun with so many pins it reminded Shinichi of a pin cushion. Over all she could be distracting but it was her wringing hands that caught his eye. Not for their slender form but the nervous tremors.

Mori Jirou, forty-seven. This man had to be a contradiction personified. Tailored clothes fitted his framed and clashed with the roughness of his demeanor. Ram rod straight back and broad shoulders held elegance and strength if not anger in their intensity. Deep set brown eyes seemed tired, irritated and gave emotions what his body did not. He would have to look there.

Finally, Kita Katsuro, thirty, and Mori-san's assistant. Everything about this man reminded Shinichi of a hawk. Sharp green eyes that shifted from the other three to the officers then to Takagi and him, dark, dirty blonde hair, thin lanky body and knees that bounced.

"I don't see why we are here." Tanaka murmured from her seat. Beside him Shinichi sensed Takagi jump.

"Tanaka-san, we are just gathering all the evidence." Takagi pushed.

"Well hurry up, I have an appointment in the next half hour." The woman grumbled.

"I'm very much aware of our appointment, Tanaka-san." Ran said from the door way.

Shinichi stiffened and turned to look over his shoulder. "I'm afraid I have to ask what the appointment is for."

Ran glanced at him and they measured each other. "A business merger. I'm here to discuss the legalities and get Yamamoto-san's and Tanaka-san's signature."

He nodded at her and faced the others. It hurt worse than any time he changed to Conan and back to have her speak so cold at him. "Yamamoto-san, Tanaka-san is this right?"

Tanaka and Yamamoto glanced at each other and he stood quietly. "Yes, what Mouri-san said was correct. Yamamoto Inc. had made the decision to, well in simple terms, swallow Tanaka Shipping."

"To put this in the clear, everything was going smoothly. Both parties agree that this was the best decision for business." Ran spoke and crossed to stand beside her clients.

Shinichi sighed and ignored how it felt wrong to see her posed against him. _**Very well then, Ran, I won't hold back.**_ He thought and cleared his mind of her. "Tanaka-san where were you this morning?"

She jolted as if he slapped her. "You think I did it?"

This time he crossed the space towards them. "No, I just need to find out everything so the process will be as smooth and as truthful as it can be for everyone."

She rang her hands together and swallowed. "I understand but who are you?"

He blinked and chuckled. "I'm sorry about that. My name is Kudo Shinichi, a detective."

"You mean that famous detective that hasn't lost a single case?" It was the first thing Kita-san had said since Shinichi entered the room and nearly toppled the side table to get closer.

Baffled Shinichi smiled weakly at him. "I wouldn't say that."

"But you haven't lost a case. From what I've heard and read you're the best." Kita-san continued quickly.

"Ah, thank you." Shinichi muttered. "Anyway, Tanaka-san if you please."

"Right, I was at home till six then I started my way here and enter through the main entrance around seven-forty or eight. After that I came up here and noticed the commotion." She said softly.

"What about the two of you?" Shinichi said and over at Mori and Kita.

"We were down stairs on the sales department floor at six-fifteen and were there till seven-thirty till we left with Yamamoto-san. We three have been together since then." Kita explained and smiled.

Shinichi nodded then turned away. A small glint in the corner of the room caught his eye and focusing on it he saw it to be a video recorded. "Yamamoto-san, do you have a surveillance camera in your office?"

"I used too but we had an electrical malfunction during the last thunderstorm and it fried most of the cameras."

"If you don't mind I'd like to see the surveillance footage." Shinichi smiled.

"Of course."

The elevator ride gave Shinichi a short break from being near Ran. He didn't realize how hard it was going to be to actually work around her. Hell, just to breathe around her. Gently he inhaled and exhaled then unwound the tangled rope around his heart.

It was a brief walk through the main lobby and down a plain unnoticeable hall. Shinichi wasn't surprised to find his mother there with Shiratori watching the morning's recordings and judging by their expressions it wasn't going well. Yukiko looked up and smiled innocently at her son.

"So far nothing but it does look like it's been tampered with." She hummed and crossed her legs smoothly.

Shinichi narrowed his blue eyes. "You're enjoying this."

She laughed and tossed her head causing her hair to fall back away from her face. "I am."

"The video has been altered and has shown the same thing in the halls from twelve midnight to six when the janitor can be seen here." Shiratori explained and rewound the film. Sure enough a slim, slightly hunched, baby blue coveralls and black ball capped janitor swept through the hall when he pressed play. It was a flash. Shinichi crossed to the panel and rewound. In between the scratchy layers of static they could just make out the janitor leaving the room.

"Well, now why is the janitor leaving the office?" Shinichi mumbled and glanced at the time. Five-fifty-five.

Shiratori glanced at Shinichi and they shared a thought. Quickly the inspector turned and ordered for the janitors assemble in the security room. Shinichi stepped away from the panel and slipped out of the room to return upstairs to the office where Minami had her last breath.

_**The killer could have easily dressed as a janitor, slipped in killed her, replace the video feed with the doctored and left. Every one of the suspects had the time but what was the motive? Why did they want to kill Minami-san?**_

Shinichi exited the elevator and scanned the hall. There was a camera at the end to his left, right above the window, and an emergency exit door nestled in the corner. Moving to that he opened the door easily and silently. Standard grey stairs spiraled up and below him, there was an extinguisher protected by glass and a fireman's ax hanging on the wall to the left of him. A camera watched from the right corner and hung from the wall on the opposite of him.

_**A grudge? Jealousy? What if it was black mail? Black mail would place Tanaka-san and Yamamoto-san as easier targets, what with their broken relationship and now business partnership but what about the other two? Did they just follow Yamamoto and end up with a shock?**_

Shinichi covered his mouth with his hand and remembered the way Mori was bored stiff and agitated. Kita on the other hand was far too energetic for someone who had just seen his co-worker dead.

"There you are."

Shinichi turned and looked up at Ran from his seat on the stairs. "What is it?"

Ran blinked at him for a moment. It caught her off guard at the light tone in his voice as if the past year hadn't happen for them. "The officers found a clear tarp in the dumpster behind the building, it has Minami's blood on it."

Shinichi rose and felt another piece of the puzzle slid into place. "What about a murder weapon? No one has mentioned that yet."

Ran shook her head and crossed her arms. "No, not yet. I'm worried that when they find it might be in the hand of the killer."

He understood her fear and because he understood he moved to her and stroked her cheek out of habit. "It wasn't them. Yes this job was very clean but" He sighed and raked the same hand through his hair. "there is too much evidence left to be them. You know they have a slash-n-burn policy."

She had squeezed her hands around her arms when he had touched her; nearly shied away but because he didn't realize his mistake she didn't. "I know."

"What you know about Yamamoto and Tanaka?" Shinichi said and shifted the conversation smoothly.

Ran snorted. "Jeez, I think you should ask what I don't know. Tanaka-san is quiet the chatter box. Worse than Sonoko, especially if it is about someone she hated."

Shinichi gawked briefly, only because he knew Suzuki Sonoko, and sobered with a small nod. "Did she hate the deceased?"

"Surprisingly, I don't even know if she knew she existed. During most of the meetings I have been present for Tanaka-san just ignored her." Ran recounted and placed a manicured nail to her chin.

"That sounds like a good cover for someone you hated."

"Maybe, but despite Tanaka-san's ability to bad mouth another person to dusk I don't think she is capable of murder."

Shinichi smirked at her. "Sometimes it's the ones you least expect to do something out of character."

"Tell me about it." She grumbled and covered her mouth quickly but he had heard it.

One of his brows shot up and a grimace replaced the smirk but before he could retort a uniform popped their head into the stair well. "Ah! Sorry, we found the weapon. It was in Yamamoto-san's bag and according to him it belongs to him."


End file.
